follow up

thank you, rebecca!

2012!!!!

Hello new year!  The past month has been wonderful and exciting.  I celebrated Chanukah with my faux-family, Kaminezki, almost every night.  I went to Israel for a few minutes with Colette.  It was almost as good as being home without the drain of a 10 hour flight.  Good trip.  I met Caroline's host family in Коржи (Korzhi) and celebrated Ukrainian Christmas with them.  Quite a world of difference from my experience in Vasylkiv.  New semester at school starts in a few more moments, and then it's like summer is already here.... and, shaz-am!, spinned.


This is such an exciting time in my Peace Corps Service.  Officially flipped, and the time I have been in Ukraine has begun to outweigh the time I have left.  But something about January makes me feel so stuck.  Like, I really have two months of this winter ahead of me to get through?  Last year was terribly slow and depressing.  And impossibly hard.  Being alone in the first few moments of service, and in the middle of a time when there was nothing around me except snow and ice.


So to shed some light on the beautiful lights that are surrounding the city currently. Darkness completely consumes my being.  It's quite cold outside, and the sun sets at about 3:30.  Weather is dreary and there is nothing that screams sunglasses.  I have an obligation to wear a scarf, gloves and hat, and of course a winter coat.  Quite easily, I can get unsure in the frozen air and just sneak away into my bed and camp out for the next two months and not speak to a soul.  Then lighting the candles just a few weeks ago reminded me to spark up.  Remember that darkness falls but light can be found anywhere.  And now, there is something to look forward to: I did this!  I have already done a year here, and quite possibly, this is my year to do it right!  Well, maybe not right, but definitely more informed.


Keep the light in mind when it feels like the same season of darkness is around you.  Think about the year before (see it?), and see how you overcame the hardness that you thought impossible (feel it?).  It seemed totally crazy to get through, but hey, 2012, what's up?

congratulations!

This weeks marks a year living in Dnepropetrovsk (whaaaa!).  Yes, I know that I'm a few days short of the big day, but heck, my thoughts, my blog, my time - and I want to write!  So, hmm, shoop, sigh, uh, what now?  I've been living here for a year and I don't even know what to say for it.  I could be cheesy (check) and write something totally over the top and reflective, but I'm not in that type of mood currently.  I'm more just amazed at time's incredibly ability to speed up without notice.  


I feel like I was just celebrating Thanksgiving and running to Kharkiv for a camp on multiculturalism, and then proceeded to run a seminar on globalization (killah) in Krivoy RIg, and then was able to finally enjoy Dnepropetrovsk with friends here, but ran again to Caroline's village for a teaching seminar. In a few days, I'm on the run again to Crimea to celebrate one year with the people that I was separated from a year back.  I think my feet move faster than I am able to process my thinking.


It's totally okay to move around and dance and run and burn bright and sing out loud and go out late and dress up (or down- GASP UKRAINE!) and spend money and be tired and shout from lungs and clap for friends and speak loudly and make a mess... hey, as long as there's action, it's a sign that there is breath.  Making choices and doing things are all a part of the experience.


Cheers to running and movement.  Congratulations to volunteers who never stop.  Hear, hear to those who always look ahead.  Molodyetz to people who keep going forward without looking back.  УМНИЧКА.  Special shout out to Colette Sims, Courtney Koch, Andrew Shell, Anand Shivaprasad, Nicole Porter, Caroline Turner, Jeremy Borovitz and Catherine Kelly who keep my feet at pace.


I also really like this song and when I listen to it I want to grab my hairbrush and perform to my mirror.

5-7-5

what is thanksgiving?
ruined American art

turkey or chicken

giving grace and hugs
can't believe I'll miss you
we found a turkey


gathering at camp
teaching about human rights
let's play mafia!


volunteering work
for a place that stands well one
give me direction


canceled once again
repetitive nature time
what should I do now


apples and peanuts
I really don't want to cook
thank god for school lunch


happy to be here
but itching for winter break
reenergized soul

pork memoir

I recently had the pleasure, nay, the honor, of joining the Pork Memoir club.  Gilad joined first, so this makes it a brother-sister duo.  To read, just click: Packing Away Pigs.

fast

So much of my time here is spent figuring out schedules and calendars.  I always have desire to make sure everything is in place.  I like to joke that it's the "American" in me, but I think that I've always been so exact about writing lists and lists, dates and times, constantly in a state of reminding myself that I need "to do this!" and that I need "to do that!"  I am such a crazy when it comes to lists.  It's semi-embarrassing how many pieces of paper I waste writing down tasks that are obvious.  Between school and other projects (everything at site is going superb!), I feel like I don't have time to think and then I find myself thinking too much... it's terribly me.


Today I was penciling plans and meetings that I know are coming up in the next few months and I felt myself zooming through these days that I haven't even experienced yet.  It was like I saw myself ending service without even blinking.  Remember when you entered senior year of high school, or college?  Or started your last summer at camp?  When you planned a vacation somewhere and then it's all of a sudden the last day?  I feel like I can keep listing all those weird things that have expiration dates that we all go through... major tests, big birthdays, family celebrations, grant applications, training for work, etc.  It's like you can taste the end of something but you don't even know what it means.  A manna to imagination.


In seventh grade, I remember my bible teacher telling us that the rabbis believed that manna tasted something like oily, fatty goodness that could be transformed into any taste wanted - and now it is unimaginable/impossible to even comprehend the types of senses that were awakened that time ago.  What a radical idea.  I wish I could have some right now.  It would totally go well with my winter packing-it-in diet.

6 hours

I had this amazing train ride from Kiev this evening.  Unlike the many others I have taken in the past year, I wrote down my thoughts in pen and just let my hand glide over the paper without even thinking for a moment.  I couldn't believe that I was able to just let my hand do all this thinking without stopping and I filled up a few pieces of paper (any that I could get my hand on).


It was totally addicting.  I couldn't believe that I could just let my hand go off, writing down every last thing that was buzzing around in my head.  Starting from how I felt at that moment, into last week, and into this whole being (not human - simply as) in any part of my mind that my hand decided was worth to put into ink.


I started saying goodbye to volunteers this past week while I was in Kiev.  It was quite strange.  A year seems very far from now (although oddly enough, when I think about the next two months, time flies) but I can imagine that those who are leaving this week felt about the same as I do currently - contemplative, excited for travels this winter (!), wondering how to teach about Thanksgiving effectively, schedule crazed...


We only get so many moments in our lifetime.  Why waste them on moments of insecurity, non-opportunity, indecisiveness, obscurity and clouds?  Cheers to the next year+ of service.