baking powder

School is ending on Friday, and summer is about to begin. Dnepropetrovsk is burning up and spring is no longer happening anymore. The time for seasonal reflection is slowly coming to a close and a new season is upon us filled with strawberries and other delicious fresh things.

I keep on wondering about what type of person I want to become. A lot of people join the Peace Corps at a time in their lives when they are confused about their surroundings, and I am not one of those people. I decided to join for different reasons and I think that I am slowly fulfilling and reaching those ideas, but indirectly reflecting on the confusion of what I want in my life.

Some volunteers I have met were at a point where nothing seemed right, and they looked to this service as a time to do good work while also looking forward to a return home with clarity. On the contrary, I am not looking at these moments in my life as a way to reconsider, but rather to finally lay the groundwork for what I imagine is going to be a life filled. I didn't think my life was complete, but I knew that my life was not complete yet without exercising my values.

What I want is to use these two years to reclaim myself - to make myself better for everyone: friends, family, colleagues, strangers... What I want is for people to stop saying that I gave up two years, but rather that I gained... What I want is to learn how to master baking in an oven the size of a medical textbook... What I want is to knit a hat... What I want is to become a better writer... What I want is to travel to a place I've never been... What I want is to be complete... What I want is to make a student confident... What I want is to grow, heal, reflect, change, seize, think, run, smile, stretch, cry, imagine.

I made jam with Caroline and Bri the other week, and started on the baking education with delicious biscuits, blondies, cupcakes and pizza. Baking club is official - we are going to bloom (or flower/flour?). Maybe baking powder will help me rise. Here are a few photos for the blog scanners:

biscuits

pizza - before and after

apple cinnamon cupcakes

biscuit with jam

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

shalem

What does healing mean? Do we heal to get better? Do we heal to change? Do we heal to forget? Do we heal to move on? Do we heal to improve? Does healing help? What are the best ways to heal? Once we heal, do we try again? Is there a point in healing? What about scarring? Do we cover up our scars once we heal, or do we wear them proudly?

We are in the month of Iyyar, the Jewish month of healing. Right as the spring begins and we start our reflection, or at the very least, as I begin counting down towards what's next, my summer - open and desperate for plans. I am just closing up the wounds of learning from these past 7 (8?) months - all of the hard work and tiring hours and annoying lessons and frustrating moments and lonely times and sleepless nights and impossible mornings and cold coffee and bad food and freezing weather and breaking in and up and down and out, finally.

Summer is breezing in and it feels so good to finally walk home instead of riding the bus. Israel turned 63 today and it feels so good to love it and still see it grow and heal and grow.

חג שמח - עם ישראל חי

free

The weather has turned hot and I am sweating on the way to anywhere! I have done a lot of traveling around and feel like I have been in transit for almost the past month, and May's plans are not helping the momentum but I am grateful for any business that keeps me distracted.

Before I dive into photos, the most important thing that happened to me this past weekend was reflection on my current self. You'll see two photos from a seder that Jeremy and I prepared for other volunteers, and during that seder we asked questions to reflect on a volunteer's life: Why is this year different from all other years? What enslaves us? What does freedom mean? When is it enough? What do I know about myself now? I am lucky that I can answer these questions, and that even though they are hard to answer, the answer is still mine and no one else's. I am headed out of Egypt.

1. I went to Simferopol to visit Colette and there I was greeted by other volunteers. On the first day we went on a tour of Bakchisaray with Nitai, another volunteer, and his mother, Avia.

Me, Colette, Nitai, and Avia, Nitai's mother, at the Khan's palace.

A view of the cliffs from the Tatar restaurant. Lagman soup is the best.

We came across a HUGE Karaite cemetery filled with hundreds of tombstones written in Hebrew.

2. On the second day there, Colette and I teamed up with two other volunteers (Adrianne and Aubree) to explore Sudak.

Just hanging out on a castle.

Fortress.

A view from the top hill.

3. The next weekend I found myself back in Kiev for a wonderful weekend, but the highlight was when I joined other volunteers to experience a Passover seder. Jeremy and I spent the whole day cooking and preparing and it ended up being fantastic and more beautiful than I had expected.

Enjoying "Shulchan Orech."

Me and Jeremy finally taking a load off after a whole day of work.

Keep on keeping on!