fast

So much of my time here is spent figuring out schedules and calendars.  I always have desire to make sure everything is in place.  I like to joke that it's the "American" in me, but I think that I've always been so exact about writing lists and lists, dates and times, constantly in a state of reminding myself that I need "to do this!" and that I need "to do that!"  I am such a crazy when it comes to lists.  It's semi-embarrassing how many pieces of paper I waste writing down tasks that are obvious.  Between school and other projects (everything at site is going superb!), I feel like I don't have time to think and then I find myself thinking too much... it's terribly me.


Today I was penciling plans and meetings that I know are coming up in the next few months and I felt myself zooming through these days that I haven't even experienced yet.  It was like I saw myself ending service without even blinking.  Remember when you entered senior year of high school, or college?  Or started your last summer at camp?  When you planned a vacation somewhere and then it's all of a sudden the last day?  I feel like I can keep listing all those weird things that have expiration dates that we all go through... major tests, big birthdays, family celebrations, grant applications, training for work, etc.  It's like you can taste the end of something but you don't even know what it means.  A manna to imagination.


In seventh grade, I remember my bible teacher telling us that the rabbis believed that manna tasted something like oily, fatty goodness that could be transformed into any taste wanted - and now it is unimaginable/impossible to even comprehend the types of senses that were awakened that time ago.  What a radical idea.  I wish I could have some right now.  It would totally go well with my winter packing-it-in diet.