rush

I am back in Ukraine after a whirlwind of a visit back home.  I can't remember a thing about being home except these lingering feelings of comfort that exist synthetically at times in Ukraine.  I really love my family, and my friends, and I am surprised by the normalcy and ease of my arrival.  I had this incredible nerve running through my body before I arrived home - what if things would change?  what if I changed?  what if people changed?  what does change even mean?  I always talk about how positive change is - I can't expect that others won't grow (up, down, side).  


And it just felt so good to lie in bed with a friend and laugh, or wake up my mom at the crack of dawn, or meet my brother on the street for a quick hug... and I see how much I have to look forward to, and that even when I feel like I am missing key things at home, that things are still going to be exciting when I return.  I will still be able to laugh and wake and meet when I make the next step into New York.  These two weeks do not define my relationships with my home, but they definitely help show me that it is malleable and adjustable... that leaving for two years has shifted into  "I'm not home right now, but I'll be back soon."


I feel good about my return.  School began like nothing ever stopped, and I already feel an onset of projects and ideas flowing towards me.  Let the busy-ness ensue, because man, it is so cold and dark and I need something to keep me up.