over

You know that feeling when you walk to somewhere new?  Even if it's close, it still feels very far away.  I had that feeling when I first went to shabbat dinner at the Kaminezki's home.  I felt like I was walking and walking up that hill, and even though I knew it was close, the minutes seemed to be snailing.  Like every step I made up that hill was a joke to be laughed at until I finally made it to the front door.  And then the next time I walked, it felt a bit shorter magically just because I knew where I was going.


And maybe not just shorter, but also easier, and simpler, and lighter.  I knew that I'd always get there once, and it's so nice to know that I can get there again.  And all those damn steps it took the first time to get there - it was the same amount of steps as last time, but I didn't hate it as much.  And maybe even the second or third or fourth time, I hated them as well.  I actually did the same thing over and over - counted the minutes, tripped over the same curb, took a wrong turn, miscounted the streets.  


But then there was that first time I took the same exact journey that it felt like I finally got it right.  All completely right.  Like nothing this time or any other time ahead of me in my life of taking those same exact steps was going to get me to trip, fall, or break down.  And it's not like this time I said "I'm going to that destination! Let's go!" with more spunk and energy - I just added a different bounce to a few of the steps and made this walk more important than the last time without even knowing.  Because I'm here, and it feels closer and more familiar than ever.  Almost like I was walking home.