I find it funny that at this moment of clarity I have my head in many places. This whirlwind of reflection that has been going on for a year now reached its peak this past weekend. I hosted Jeremy and Amy at my house for the holiday, and then Caroline and Chris joined us for Shabbat, and then a few more people (40) joined on Saturday morning to learn about Rosh Hashanah and the Jewish community in Dnepropetrovsk. I am having such a hard time figuring out what to say, but I know that I am feeling amazing.
I spoke on Friday night at Shmuel and Chani's house. Jeremy and I have been seriously reflecting on what the holiday is about while planning for the program, and I shared with him more poetically, which I wanted to write about today...
This past Shabbat, we learn about the story of when Moshe tells the epic tale of the Jewish people, and includes all of their ups and downs, and chronicles the whole 40 years of struggle and wander... and since all good stories have a deeper meaning, I thought "does this relate to me?"
And I found that I feel like struggling and wandering is normal and almost... necessary. Yesterday we had to share all these things about our past year, and I was with a friend and he said "Avital, you are a different person. A better version of yourself." So maybe this past year I wasn't the best me, but I have a better version of me to show for it.
To anyone who is considering the Peace Corps, going to college, moving away, going into a program, starting a new job, beginning a major, figuring out a new hobby, reading a new book, recording a new CD, moving to Paris, recovering, finding new love... you will struggle. You will not feel comfortable at the beginning. And the beginning won't be over until you feel that you are at home. Which I am.
No comments:
Post a Comment